I was meeting with one of my best friends this morning & he called, “complete bull crap” on me.
I was explaining my frustration & stress with a few situations. He listened for about 5 minutes & then looked at me and gave me the truth in a loving way.
It was basically like my dad saying, “Go up to your room, I’ll be up in a few minutes with a belt.”
For my own benefit, my buddy let me have it. I needed it.
When tired, stressed or depressed, we tell ourselves & others stories about why we are in that state. Most of the time we tell these stories to people that agree with us & coddle our emotions. This reinforces the story to ourselves and we never move forward.
Sometimes we tell these stories for days, weeks, months and years. We tell the story from our perspective and woo others into siding with us to reinforce our direction in life.
A true friend doesn’t agree with you all the time. A true friend will lovingly call “Complete Bull Crap” when you are lying to yourself or them.
Two things I learned from my good friend:
1. External Stressors Are Usually Founded In Internal Struggles
I was telling my story about work situations & my buddy didn’t buy it. He walked me logically though every situation I described as a stressor & they were all bull crap. Not one of the scenarios should put me in the state I was in.
As he dug, he found that I had some internal struggles that I needed to just process verbally with him.
My stress had nothing to do with my company, team, finances or what I do. My stress had everything to do with my soul. I can see this in others easily,but not so much in myself.
I share this so when you or someone around you is externally stressing, realize it’s probably coming from an internal struggle.
2. Good Friends Aren’t People You Call At 3AM
People always say, “Who would you call at 3AM if you needed something?” 3AM friends aren’t the best kind. Anyone will come in a crisis. The best friends are people that you meet with consistently & share the truth with.
I meet with this guy weekly & he is one of the best friends I’ve ever known. He is like a counselor, business pal, & priest all in one.
Who is the friend that will call “Complete Bull Crap!” with you?
As I write this, I feel lighter. Losing my self destructive story has freed me up from it’s lies. Now it’s time to move on…