I have gotten more emails, tweets & Facebook messages about the post I did called How To Have Amazing Friendships than any other post I’ve ever done. I wanted to follow up with a step-by-step guide to improving one friendship over the next 30 days.
We first have to understand that deep friendship is built upon trust.
If you want to have trust in a relationship, you must be proactive. If you focus on doing a few of these things with one person over the next 30 days you will have a better chance for a better friendship.
1. Text a person 3 times a week before your day gets started
When you text them, ask them about them. Ask what they have going on. Ask how you can help them. Ask about something they tweeted about. Ask about a big meeting you know they have. You don’t have to have an all day convo with them, just check in & make it about them.
2. Make their load lighter 1 time
If they have kids, offer to keep their kids. They won’t believe you at first so offer again. If you work with the person, do something that will make their job easier. If they have a big test coming up, buy them a gift card for a local coffee shop so they can study. If they have a big presentation, ask them if they need to run it by someone.
3. Connect them to someone or something else that will add value to them
I connect my friends to other friends, resources, articles, music or anything that will add value to them. When you add value & don’t ask anything from people, it goes a long way.
4. Do a shared experience
Nothing & I mean nothing creates friendships faster than a shared experience. Go backpacking. Go to dinner (make sure you buy). Do an overnight to a different city just to hang out & visit some bars. Go to a concert together. Grill some stuff together. Figure out what they like to do & go do it. Go golfing. Go to a game.
Yeah… You might think this is weird but it’s not. What’s weird is not sharing life with others. Sure, you can use the excuse of being too busy or being introverted but everyone needs people to share life experiences with.
5. Share a failure with them
Yikes. Share a failure? Yep. If you want to truly connect with people, talk about your failures as much as your successes. Now, you can’t just throw up all your baggage on everyone you know. You must have tact & understand the relationship before you share too much; however, most people never have great friendships because they don’t share failures.
The way to share a failure with a friend is to tell them that you would like to talk with them about something that’s personal. Literally you can say, “I just need to get something off my chest or let you know about some things. I don’t have a ton of close friends & I consider you to be close.”
Gauge their response. If they seem open, you can talk about some stuff. If not, you don’t have to.
I know this seems really weird… Especially for men. Trust me. Friendships are built upon trust & people don’t truly trust each other until they know the real you. Quit being a wuss & open up. Be vulnerable.
So… Which friendship are you going to intentional make better this month? We need to be just as intentional on friendships as we are on other relationships. Friendships provide an an amazing satisfaction to life & should be nurtured!
What if it doesn’t work? What if you work hard to build a relationships but someone else doesn’t reciprocate?
Don’t worry about them, worry about you. Become the friend you want & the rest will take care of itself.